Grad school gets more expensive

I bought a fancy brand-new laptop (it's super light! it's blue! It has a backlit keyboard!) because I'm going to need to download software for my grad program. I was excited to get to use it for tonight's online class chat because it meant I didn't have to bring my work laptop home, and I didn't have to use the ancient Dell I have (yes, ancient by like 6 years or something. that's ancient for laptops, amirite?). Joke's on me. The program we have to use doesn't work with Chrome, and my laptop doesn't have Internet Explorer. If you even try to activate IE on it, it tells you you should really be using Edge, the new browser designed specifically for Windows 10. Of course, I tried Firefox, but it turns out that the new versions of Firefox don't support Java. What. The ever-loving. Fuck.

I had to turn on my old Dell and plug the dang thing in, and strain a bicep carrying it between rooms to avoid the barky dogs. And it's slow. Really slow. But it worked, and I was only about 5 minutes "late" for the chat session. Kudos to me, too. I answered a question asked during the session, and because I have hella cool typing skillz, I was the first to answer and got the bonus points. It's really scary how much I felt validated by the praise. I maybe should look into doing something about that.

Last week, I was certain that I would sign up for the upcoming 8-week class that fulfills another pre-requisite I have. Let's get this dang degree over with! This weekend, I decided I would definitely not do that after all. I miss spending time with my husband! Now today, I'm thinking maybe I actually should sign up for the class... Things at work may change for the worse and I might want to get out quick. I guess I can always apply for something with a master's degree in progress, though, right?

Someone at the office told me grad school is all about time management. Well, I can totally see that. I have been slacking off way less since I started classes. I don't sit around on the weekends anymore, I study. I'm going to try to limit myself to no more than 2 hours studying on weeknights, though. I miss my husband, and I think he misses me, too.

I started grad school

I decided to get a Master's degree. It's mostly my boss's fault, actually. I had considered it before, but I'm interested in some kind of business field and my B.A. is in English. That's not a natural transition, and I just didn't think it was feasible. I also didn't feel like I could afford the tuition. Now I'm making enough money, though, and M.B.A. programs are accessible to anyone, no matter what you originally went to school for. My boss made a big deal about telling me about a lot of other people with non-business degrees that went on to something more applicable to what they do now, so that made me feel like it was possible. He's very encouraging, and assured me I could handle it and I should do it. Personally, I realized that the reality is that if I ever want to make significantly more money where I work now, I'm going to need to get a Master's degree. And if I ever want to leave and do the same thing somewhere else, my experience alone will not make me competitive.

So I started grad school, and found a program where I can get an M.S. in Business Analytics. Now I'm just trying to figure out the pacing. I signed up for two classes this semester, one of them only 8 weeks, because there's another 8-week class starting in October I could take, too, and then three fourths of my prerequisites would be done.

I'm three weeks in, and pretty stressed out about it.

One of my instructors is not a very good teacher, and does not provide very detailed information about assignments, instead asking everyone to log into a live chat session every week. Some of my classmates can't, because they work. People have had trouble with the technology. Also, he's just not very good at this. Someone will type something in response to what he's said, but by the time he looks over at the chat box, he's moved on and he thinks they're talking about something else, then wastes time telling them it's not applicable to what he's talking about. He doesn't really provide any new information that's not in the book, and he doesn't really contribute to my actual learning of the material. He just talks about it.

Conversely, the math-based course I'm taking is a lot better. Each week I have a one-hour recorded lecture, and the instructor is using slides from the book, just like the other guy. But this guy is so much better. He really understands the material, and he explains it in a way that makes it so much more easy to understand. The book seems aimed at math majors, and I can't even remember my College Algebra class. (The reality is that today, you can do so much with Excel that you just need to know what to click. Yes, you should have a basic understanding of the concepts, but you don't actually need to be able to do the math yourself. Whew!) The instructor does a great job of explaining it without dumbing it down, but using his own knowledge to elaborate on the text in a way that really helps me understand.

I think I'm going to take three years to do this degree. That's two courses each long semester and 1 each summer term, and I think I can make it work. I miss the free time to read, do jigsaw puzzles, nap, and play logic games, but I am really enjoying the intellectual challenge. I just need to make it through the tough 8-week class with the cruddy instructor.

My office is too cold

It's 100 degrees in North Texas this week, but it's only about 72 degrees in my office. Our whole floor is always cold. Getting dressed every morning is a pain in the ass. I have to find something I won't be sweltering in as I'm walking in from the parking lot, but warm enough to keep me from turning on my space heater during the day in the office. Seasonally-appropriate is always a challenge, too, and then there's the matter of whether I have any big meetings for which I might want to cover my tattoos.

A couple of weeks ago, I decided that I would just wear the first thing I put on, as long as it was clean and it matched. I figured I'm really the only person who cares that much about what I wear. As long as I'm meeting a minimum standard of presentability, nobody really notices. I made a rule that if, after I get dressed, I want to change, it better be because something is stretched out, too worn, has holes, or doesn't fit, and therefore I can't keep that item of clothing anymore. It was a good choice. My closet is getting pared down to just the stuff I actually wear, and I've decided I have enough clothes that I really don't need to buy anything unless I need to replace a staple (like a black, short-sleeved shirt).

I love the weekends, because I get to hang around in shorts and tank tops, and I don't have to wear shoes. Really, I don't think I've ever stopped living like a college student at home, even to the point that the husband made fun of me last week when I said I really needed to do laundry this weekend because I'm out of clean underwear. I love that we can laugh at each other. He makes me feel so accepted.

I guess that's the whole point of this musing -- needing to feel accepted the way I am, and the frustration that you can't just go to work in pajamas. I know, right? Who says I ever have to grow up?